Loss, as it sounds, is one of the inevitable experiences one has to face in the course of one’s existence, and following suit is grief for the loss. Grief is a natural follow-up to losses. If you must get over a loss, a lot of things would come into play – and grief is one of them. Grief can ensue from many life experiences like losing a dear one, falling sick, giving up on an expected dream, or even breaking up a relationship.
It can be difficult to manage any grief that results from a particular loss if the loss has a much direct impact on you; and examples of this include the loss of a beloved one in a fatal motor accident, the loss of vital data from your device, missing of a promising appointment, flood or fire damage on property, and sudden loss of jobs, among others.
Sudden and Predictable Losses
From the realities we have experienced and its occurrences in life, loss could be grouped into two, viz., sudden loss and predictable loss.
- Sudden losses: As it implies, sudden losses give you no room to prepare. Here, you do not foresee any impending danger and as a result of this, trauma is common with cases like this. You feel destabilized, vulnerable, and insecured, and you naturally withdraw from society and friends on moments of grief and depression. Situations like this results in insomnia – sleeplessness, fear, and nightmares, etc.
- Predictable losses: Here you grieve over a foreseen but inevitable loss; and when the loss ultimately occurs, you grieve for the loss itself. Here, the pain seems longer and the whole situation seems hopeless, as in the case of a terminal illness, where a loved one is dying in pain and yet you cannot do anything about it but to await his/her death.
How Long Does a Grief Last?
One of the reactions to losses is grief. The duration for its occurrence varies with individual persons and their relationship to the object of loss. In these times of pain, the grief is being personally borne and cannot be rushed over. It is therefore advisable not to struggle with grief nor try to resist it; just let go and let it flow. Over time, consolations from friends and well-wishers may help you to get over it. It should also be noted that the feeling of loss could be brought back by events like specific dates, seasons, or any other thing that can refresh the memory concerning a forgotten loss. Sometimes it comes in cycles. To cope in times like this, you have to be easy on yourself, seek help by opening up to a counselor, or people that can help.
Coping With Grief
Managing your grief may not be that easy but you can help yourself by engaging in one or two activities:
- First, avoid being alone and idle in any particular place for a long time. Find something doing, like visiting friends and family, chatting online, and seeking counseling from medical professionals. When alone, you can also engage in fitness exercises or read books of interests; music may also be helpful, and be sure to eat healthy and relax well.
- This may look kind of weird but to an extent it does help – join groups which bring relief to people who are passing through the same situation as yours. You may as well engage people who have been there before in discussions, and you will marvel at what relief you will get.